Doubts

It's half past two in the morning, and because of non-education issues I won't talk about (ah, to hell with it, I'll talk about it briefly: working in an office isn't all it cracked up to be, with the shake-up of the department and me now having to do the work of three people, and it's just too damned stressful) I can't sleep. In just a few hours, I'm going to Urban High to see a teacher in action, to get some classroom experience, and after talking to a well-respected, retired secondary level teacher, a jovial friend who presented schools with a blunt but honest perspective, I started having one or two doubts.

I also read a recent blogpost by Bog Standard which presents the harsh facts of what the hell I'm getting myself into in a harsh but very real light. I have been questioning myself on why I want to be a teacher. Until now I have focused on my love of the subject, and that has been my drive, to see if I can carry over my love of the academic field of English to the kids. I want to utilise my love of the subject, and I feel teaching is the best way to utilise my love.

My biggest fears about teaching are issues such as having a confrontation with a student, and how to adress them. Behaviour management and so forth, that's what's on my mind. These are things to find out perhaps, to see how the teacher (whom I will follow later on today) deals with it. Let's see if I can get through today and still keep my drive for the subject. There are also issues with all the damned hurdles to get past with the application process itself.

Alternatively, you could just ignore this blogpost, as it's just the raving of a person who's already crazy (because I want to be a teacher). This time tomorrow I should hopefully have my doubts banished along with my sanity, heheheh!