Brief update

Apologies, blog-fans, I've been a little busy since my last blog-post.

No doubt readers may have thought that the experience of actually seeing a class in action may have put me off teaching, and that's the reason I haven't blogged since, but far from it. Let's just say it was a wonderful experience at Urban High, truly inspirational. I came away wanting more than ever to enjoy teaching.

I've been getting together a load of documents for my interview at university since then, so blogging will be light until after the interview. I'll be back blogging in a few days, so wish me luck as I go to interview this week!

Doubts

It's half past two in the morning, and because of non-education issues I won't talk about (ah, to hell with it, I'll talk about it briefly: working in an office isn't all it cracked up to be, with the shake-up of the department and me now having to do the work of three people, and it's just too damned stressful) I can't sleep. In just a few hours, I'm going to Urban High to see a teacher in action, to get some classroom experience, and after talking to a well-respected, retired secondary level teacher, a jovial friend who presented schools with a blunt but honest perspective, I started having one or two doubts.

I also read a recent blogpost by Bog Standard which presents the harsh facts of what the hell I'm getting myself into in a harsh but very real light. I have been questioning myself on why I want to be a teacher. Until now I have focused on my love of the subject, and that has been my drive, to see if I can carry over my love of the academic field of English to the kids. I want to utilise my love of the subject, and I feel teaching is the best way to utilise my love.

My biggest fears about teaching are issues such as having a confrontation with a student, and how to adress them. Behaviour management and so forth, that's what's on my mind. These are things to find out perhaps, to see how the teacher (whom I will follow later on today) deals with it. Let's see if I can get through today and still keep my drive for the subject. There are also issues with all the damned hurdles to get past with the application process itself.

Alternatively, you could just ignore this blogpost, as it's just the raving of a person who's already crazy (because I want to be a teacher). This time tomorrow I should hopefully have my doubts banished along with my sanity, heheheh!

Experience in a classroom (2)

Well, after a random call to a High School (let's call it Urban High) in this fair city I call home in the south of the British Isles, I have finally organised a school visit before my PGCE interview and now am going to visit a school soon to observe an English teacher in action. This is good news, as I'm no longer having a panic attack and stressing over getting something arranged before the interview.

I wan't educated in this town, so I asked a few locals for opinions on the school. Urban High is quite a well respected school, and was told "you'll do well to visit that one." So praises for the school. I was actually looking for something with a bit more bite for my first school experience, particularly a local school with a renowned bad reputation (they were the ones who replied quite curtly). Are you mad? I hear you cry. No, but it'll give me a realistic idea of how troublesome the job could potentially be, and if I get to observe a good teacher in a troublesome environment, I simultaneously can see also how good I could aim to be as a teacher.

I'll also be returning to St Hometown High after my interview for two days. It is with excitement and feelings of intrepidation that I'll be returning there. I haven't been back since I left.

Aside, just a thought: is there a link between stress, teaching, and male baldness? I actually do have a small area of hair loss on my head, and since applying through the GTTR to get onto a PGCE course, I've noticed that it has grown a little. Maybe I'm just overly conscious of it.

Experience in a classroom

Anyone would think they don't want teachers in schools, with what I've been going through recently. Well, they certainly don't want me, it seems.

I've got an interview for entry to the Secondary English PGCE course with a university in the West Midlands, my first choice, in a couple of weeks. Time is running out. Part of the interview (according to the helpful documents sent out by the university I'm being interviewed by) is to talk about spending time in a school observing a teacher in your chosen subject in action; you have organised to spend time in a school and get some front line experience, haven't you?

I had indeed organised something; I was going to my old school (we'll call it St. Hometown High) in mid May. Then the uni hit me with the interview date: a clash! This was no less than a spanner in the works. My original chosen school, back where I studied, is unable to accomodate me before mid May, so I've been ringing around my part of the southern British Isles trying to speak to the Heads of English to plead my case. A number have said "we'll get back to you" and haven't, and one has just phoned up and left a blunt answerphone message saying we've got someone already doing that and can't fit you in.

The most interesting answer so far to my desperate plea came when I phoned the high school where my sister used to attend. The receptionist put me on hold, and came back after five minutes to say that all the members of staff in the English department were on the sick, and they only had supply teachers in, so it wouldn't be really suitable. After finishing the conversation, I thought to myself: is that a school in desperate need of being taken into special measures with the whole department pulling sickies, or was it an exceedingly feeble excuse to fob me off? Knowing the school via my sister's experience there, I suspect it was probably the former. I would like to name and shame the insititution, but it would be bad form for me to do so, and it would also give away my geographic location, something I have no intention of doing.

There are a number of factors that may be contributing to the reluctance to take in eager observers like myself. One may be a fear by the teachers themselves of being observed and being subject to a critical eye. Heaven knows, the Ofsted vampires strike fear into the hearts of teachers across the UK, and what about a student who could innocently report back the findings to a university in interview?

I jest. Fear of criticism may be one, but there is the inconvenience of having a young, know-it-all fresh from university poking their nose in. But it's not an inconvenience really, more a chance for the incumbent teachers to meet their potential new colleagues, pass on the tips and hints that would ensure that an English teacher with NQT status (Newly Qualified Teacher status, gained after successful completion of a PGCE) is not savagely beaten to death in a classroom re-enactment of William Golding's Lord of the Flies.

Finally, it may be the timing is just unfortunately wrong. Year eleven students, and the sixth form (as it was in old money) are coming up to the GCSE and A-Level exams. The focus of good teachers' attentions will be to get them ship-shape and ready to pass. Good luck to them all. Who knows? Should I end up eventually as a teacher, maybe one of them then will be approaching me to say: "Can I watch you at work?" I must ask myself, would I turn away the potential teacher then?